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patkOkay, I admit it, I'm old fashioned which means, I waited practically *forever* that someone would take exactly *that* song and turn it into a TS-vid. *g* When Soft Cell's version of the song came out in '82 I was 20 and right in the middle of the wildest (and hardest) time of my life. Songs like "Tainted Love" were the soundtrack of my life, back then.
I was thrilled to see that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
janedavitt had made a vid using that song and I watched it several times, matching the scenes to the lyrics and trying to interpret what I saw. It was a dark, dark story that came out. Apparently I have a thing for "dark" lately. *g*
And here is what *I* saw in this vid
At first, we get a "flash summary" that leads to the main "story":
The beginning:
Jane created a great entrance - just Jim's eyes, narrowing briefly as if he had just seen something of interest that was worth a hunt, like focusing in on a prey. *g* It's crystal clear - he just "discovered" Blair. *G* Pan shot to Blair, who's apparently clueless and likely talking to Jim, then back to Jim who approaches Blair in a way that made me think of circling him, stalking him like a prey.
I know that's not how they met for the first time in canon, but the scene has a "seeing for the first time" feeling to it. Well, call it an vid-AU. ;-) Or imagine that was the first time Blair triggered Jim's sexual interest. In the light of what we learn about Jim's sexual preferences later, such a "predator"-look makes sense. *g*
The problem gets out in the open:
Back to Blair, sitting in a car (apparently with Jim) and looking sideways with a disturbed, painful expression on his face that turns into a disturbed expression as if he had just learned something awful. I guess that marks the point, later in their relationship, when Blair realizes for the first time that Jim is cheating on him with women.
Then the lyrics start and so does the "story".
"Sometimes I feel I've got to ..." - shows Blair talking to Jim, apparently about something difficult because he's clearly not happy but equally clearly trying to be collected. I assume they're having a "reasonable talk" about Jim cheating on him repeatedly with other women.
The scene turns into Blair hitting the Switchman in the bus and looking up. I interpret this as an underlining example that shows the other side of their relationship where they're connected beyond having "an affair", where they're partners and friends, having each other's back in the dangers of their everyday-life. Something you don't throw away easily, not even when there are problems on another front of your relationship. That's why Blair tries to talk it out instead of actually "running away".
"Run away I've got to..." - shows Blair leaving the loft with a glance back at Jim. So the "reasonable talk" apparently hadn't a lasting effect and Jim disappointed Blair by continuing his habit of having sex with women. And Blair does what he often does when a situation gets too much for him emotionally, he leaves the scene.
"Get away..." - Blair leaves the closet from "Attraction", having just busted Jim with Laura, "hands in the cookie-jar", so to speak.
"From the pain that you drive into the heart of me..." - Jim hastily putting the spaghetti-strap of Laura's dress back up over her shoulder. Apparently he wants to go after Blair, perhaps trying to put his "screw up" into perspective with him and doing some damage-control. Don't we all know the kind of talk that happens after such a situation? I suppose it happens here too - off screen. *g*
"The love we share seems to..." - Interesting choice of scene here. (It's from Switchman, when Blair orders Jim not to watch but to *listen*) Blair talking to Jim intensely, fiercely and Jim reacting tensely, alerted, instantly doing what Blair suggested. It's such a perfect scene to underline their smooth co-working in a dangerous situation which needs instant action urgently. It has a feel of complementing each other, of a "well-oiled machine", of being able to count on each other in such situations. It polarizes the problematic part very well and illustrates the part of their relationship where they *do* share a "kind of love". Jane created two so very opposite sides of their relationship illustrates it wonderfully.
"go nowhere, and I've..." - Jim and Blair, apparently standing face to face, communication is down to talking - or rather "not talking" - with looks and they obviously don't now know what to say anymore. The perfect way to illustrate, that *it* seems to "go nowhere". They've reached a death end at this point - Blair isn't yet willing to either accept Jim's behavior or to end the commitment, Jim isn't able to explain anything beyond this "I can't help myself"-look on his face. As much "connected" the scene before felt as big feels the rift between them in this scene.
"lost my light, for I..." - Blair sitting on the loft-couch, regarding Jim with a look that speaks of disappointed and slightly angry resignation.
"toss and turn I can't sleep at night..." - Blair doing literally that. Tossing and turning on his bed, clearly unhappy in capital letters, not to say desperate. It's obvious that he won't be able to endure the current situation much longer.
"Once I ran to you (I ran)..." - Scene from the end of Switchman, when Blair eagerly runs after Jim. I think in the context of this "vid-story" it's meant to be from a time before they started a relationship that's apparently love on Blair's side, with the need to be exclusive, and on Jim's side perhaps also love but with the problem of apparently not being able to *be* exclusive.
"Now I'll run from you..." - Ah, instead of looking for another "running" scene, Jane cleverly selected the scene from Switchman where Blair approaches the door of the bus behind the switchman's back. The way he looks back it looks like he's looking at a Jim who's standing outside of the camera-angle, as if Blair tries to make sure Jim isn't noticing how he tries to vanish.
"This tainted love you've given..." - Blair, lying on the couch in the living room and getting up quickly, talking to someone, gesturing determinedly . It gives the impression as if Blair had waited for Jim to come home and now, when Jim enters the loft, Blair gets up, asking where he had been or if he had been with another woman again and stating that he won't take this anymore, with an angry ring to his voice and apparent in his gesturing.
"I give you all a boy could give you, take my..." - Surprisingly, to this we don't see Blair but Jim in the gym, working out as if he wanted himself to distract from any string of thoughts about their argument and their trouble. But Blair's accusations are still ringing in his ear and Jim tries hard to avoid any thoughts about his own behavior and feelings, avoid any acknowledgment about what he really does to their relationship or what he wants from Blair. I assume he went out on Blair, when Blair confronted him in the scene before. They got into an argument, Jim didn't want to talk about it and left for the gym to avoid having to deal with it and to avoid having to *think*.
"tears and that's not nearly all..." - Blair sitting topless in their bathroom with Jim taping up his ribs. I see this as a scene that illustrates that Blair pours not only his feelings into this relationship ("tears") but puts everything in it, including risking his health and life ("not nearly all") for their partnership and therefore, by extension, for Jim. Here is illustrated again that this is not only about a "romantic" relationship and its problems but also about a partnership that goes beyond that and includes large parts of both of their lifes congruently - Blair is hurt but he's not alone, Jim tends to him here, they're *both* in it, so far. But while Blair has already gone a step farther, having himself committed to an exclusive relationship, Jim doesn't seem to be able (or want) to do the same, for an unknown reason.
"Oh...tainted love, tainted love..." - Blair looking up to Jim, clearly emotionally struggling and trying to get a grip. Then sitting down on his bed and not *quite* succeeding in holding it together. It's obvious that he tries to endure the whole situation and the emotional rollercoaster of having the best of partnership with Jim but not the emotionally committed romance he wants from Jim. He won't be able to do this eternally and in the next scene, the breaking point is reached, something is about to change.
"Now I know I've got to..." - The scene opens with Jim looking stunned. I think Blair just broke the news to him that he can't continue this way and will leave him. And Jim looks as if he can't believe what Blair just said, as if he can't grasp the concept of Blair actually leaving, as if the world as he knows it is about to end and he can't wrap his mind around it.
"Run away..." - shows Blair standing, looking down and trying to hold his stand, listening to Jim who's circling him and talking agitatedly.
"I've ..." - Jim talking with an intense expression on his face, obviously trying to convince Blair of something, perhaps trying to talk him into staying.
"got to..." - Blair shaking his head and making a remark, much calmer now.
"get away..." - Jim facing away from Blair and also making a remark, perhaps answering.
"You don't really want IT any more from me, to make..." - Blair outside with his backpack, talking to Jim in a manner as if he is explaining something to him.
"things right, you need..." - again Blair talking to Jim in the same manner, but this time they're in the loft.
The scenes are clearly not consistent because of the different clothing, hairstyles and environments. Although this might be a necessity, lying in the nature of vid-making, I rather see it as an implication that this is not one big dig-it-up-all conversation but an ongoing process of talking it over on different occasions. Bringing up the topic several times, discussing it. In the light of how the vid proceeds I guess that this ongoing talking-process also includes the topic of Jim's sexual preferences, speak "kinks". *g* As I see it, Jim "confesses" to Blair that he needs a certain kind of kinky sex and that's why he tends to run back to women who are able to give him just that. Blair apparently doesn't immediately jump up and volunteer for it. He has to process the fact that the sex between them apparently isn't completely satisfying for Jim ("to make things right") because he needs a kinky component. A *heavy* component of kink. As in "much of it". Blair has to come to terms with this fact first ("You don't really want IT any more from me") before he can decide about how to go on from there.
"someone to hold you tight..." - Jim and Carolyn kissing wildly. Well, I think this "tight" can safely be interpreted literally here. I guess Blair would easily be able to "hold Jim tight" in the emotional sense of the word but I guess this hints more into the kinky direction. *G*
The following part is is a little bit difficult. Fact is, the original lyrics of the song included the wording "love is to play" etc., not "pray". I think it was Soft Cell who changed the lyrics at this point. Well, since Jane used the Soft Cell version, I'm going with it. But I think even "play" would fit the bill, although "play" could be interpreted in a broader range as "pray", as in "playing with sex" and "playing with one's feelings". "Pray" gives the lyrics a way grittier and darker meaning.
"And you'LL think love is to pray, but I'm..." - We see a close-up of Jim's hands closing the handcuffs around Laura's wrists, then kissing her. So, this kink of Jim is about dominating his sex-partners, about making them "pray" in the sense of pleading and begging.
"sorry I don't pray that way.." - Blair, gagged, and a pair of hands that caresses his face with a pair of drumsticks. Blair clearly hates it, he writhes in a way that suggests he wants to escape. I see this as Blair trying to give Jim what he needs for the sake of their relationship, trying to get into it, to see if they can make this work, but it doesn't work. Blair just doesn't "pray that way", he really hates being dominated in bed by Jim.
Okay, okay, the scenes are from "Cypher", I *know*, but I think in this scene, Blair's partner isn't *meant* to be Lash here.
But what I *do* think, concluding from how the "story" proceeds is, that Blair's encounter mit Lash traumatized him in a way that he simply isn't able to get into such a bondage-scene. This goes beyond simply not enjoying it and straight into fear.
"Once I ran to you (I ran), now I'll run from..." - Again, this is kind of a "flashback"-scene to "better times". Blair running up the stairs to a Jim who's shirtless and just fastening his trousers.
"you, this tainted..." - Blair sitting on his bed, desperate.
"love you've given..." - Jim lying in his bed, sleeping.
I interpret this as the aftermath of their "try gone wrong". Not sure how much time has passed, but surely not too much. While Blair has retreated to his room, Jim fell asleep in his bed. We don't know what happened immediately after the disaster, perhaps they tried to talk about it and it didn't work, perhaps Blair wanted to be alone, leaving Jim upstairs, perhaps Jim fell to sleep immediately and then Blair went downstairs, perhaps Blair didn't say anything, waiting for Jim to fall asleep before he got up and went downstairs. I don't know but I would guess it was the latter.
It's clear that Blair is devastated because it didn't work and because he know it will *never* work. He realizes that neither of them can fulfill the other's emotional/sexual needs. Blair is frightened by being dominated in bed by Jim, thanks to his encounter with Lash, and in the long run Jim can't do without dominating and therefore will end up going back to women who are able to satisfy his need, something Blair won't be able to accept and endure. Which basically means, they don't have a future as a couple. I sincerely doubt that Blair told Jim the whole truth, but basically, it doesn't even matter. He can't do it and, thanks to his trauma with Lash, now Jim's way of (physical) love(making) even feels "tainted" to him - no matter how he would have felt about it *before* Lash. Simply because he associates "being dominated" mentally and emotionally to what Lash had done to him. Hence "tainted love". *G* It's not so much Jim who "tainted" their love - I don't think Blair would have this kind of "moral judgment" - but Lash, who made it impossible for Blair to even "endure" it occasionally, let alone enjoy it.
"I give you all..." - Blair tried to give Jim what he needed, even going so far to risk waking up his trauma again, hence "I give you all". Now Blair is hiding behind something. Actually, it's the scene from Siege where he's hiding behind the vending machine but I think this is supposed to be something else. I think this is Blair, hiding downstairs because the sexual encounter with Jim scared him shitless (because of the reasons above) and brought back the memories.
"a boy could give you..." - Upstairs, Jim is waking up and from the look of it something woke him up. Perhaps he heard Blair downstairs. He doesn't go downstairs and, aside from Janet having to care for matching scenes to rhythm and text *g*, the reason for that might be that Blair made it clear *he* doesn't want to talk about it.
"Take my tears and that's not nearly all..." - I consider this the next morning. Jim and Blair are talking in the truck. As I interpret it, Blair tells Jim he will quit because he can neither live with kinky sex nor with Jim cheating on him in the future. From Jim's reaction I assume he tries to talk him out of it.
"Oh...tainted love, tainted love..." - The argument continues in front of the the entrance to "Personnel" at the PD. That gave me the impression that Blair wants to quit entirely, even resign as an "observer". Jim wants to stop him by talking. From the look I would say he tries to convince him of something. He may promise him that they'll never have a similar encounter or so. Everything is possible and if I take into account that Jim might not know what's *really* going on with Blair, it's even possible that he might try to convince Blair of trying it again in a slightly different manner and perhaps it will work *then*. Given this construction, from Blair's POV this was a major disaster ("tainted love"), from Jim's POV it was simply a sexual encounter that didn't went all too well and he might not even quite understand why Blair reacts so strongly to it. All the more stronger his own reaction turns out because apparently nothing he says changes Blair's mind, as we see in the next scene.
"Don't touch me please, I cannot stand..." - Jim is gripping Blair's upper arms, apparently trying to get through to him physically because words don't work. He sees that Blair will leave him and there's nothing he can say that will prevent it. Blair fights Jim, insisting on "no" and Jim lets go, gives up.
"the way you tease..." - We see Jim flirting with Laura. I take that as Blair being convinced that Jim will continue to cheat on him because he, Blair, can't "perform" in the desired way, which is something ("the way you tease") Blair won't be able to bear. I don't see this as Blair reproaching Jim for his wish for kinky sex/sexual dominance because as I said before, I don't think Blair would have this kind of moral judgment. And since he just knows that Jim won't be able to give that up, he knows what's coming if he stays.
"I love you though you hurt me so..." - We see Blair fighting wildly and Jim trying to calm him, partially trying to grab him physically in a way that suggests he tries to keep Blair from hitting something or someone, to hold him back from something. It looks like Blair has a fit of rage, caused by the hopeless situation and feeling helpless to change this, and Jim seems to try to bring him out of it. Blair feels hurt by Jim in two ways: I consider it a mix of the more or less deliberate emotional hurt he suffered from Jim cheating on him and the unintentional "mental" hurt he got from Jim during their disastrous bondage-play. What I don't see is Jim delivering physical hurt to him at any point and I'm convinced of that because of the upcoming scenes.
"Now I'm going to pack my things and go..." Blair packs and leaves, and Jim helps him carrying his baggage to the car. Which means, Jim is *not* angry with him. I guess he has accepted that he can't change Blair's mind and can hardly keep him against his will. They don't argue anymore, it's sad, they have both resigned, knowing there's nothing they can do anymore, it's over.
This is basically the end of the story but, like an "aftermath", we see how they both feel, partly in flashbacks of earlier events.
"tainted love..." - Jim waking Blair up, (the scene from True Crime) I see this as a flashback in Jim's mind, and then Jim standing there, turning his head, probably just having had this flashback.
"tainted love..." - Blair blindfolding Jim for a test, again, a flashback in Jim's mind, accompanied by the picture of Jim sitting there, thinking of this situation and looking haunted by the memories.
"tainted love..." - Jim putting on his shirt, in the light of the following scene it's likely the moment shortly after Blair had put a "stop" to their bondage-scene - either intentionally or unintentionally because Jim realized that Blair wasn't into it from his physical reactions or lack of. Jim has a tolerant "okay, okay, don't get your knickers in a twist"-expression on his face and makes placating gestures with his hands. This was, what made me think that Jim didn't view the encounter as such a mess and didn't realize then how seriously Blair was frightened. He might have thought that it was simply not to Blair's liking, but I doubt he realized the whole importance at this point. And it was also the scene that made me believe that he didn't really hurt Blair physically or took something physical from him against his will, that he didn't go too far in a physical sense.
"tainted love..." - Blair gagged and looking dazed, exhausted. I think that's a flashback from the moment immediately after Jim stopped their bondage-scene. But I guess this time it's in Blair's mind because immediately after this picture we see Blair standing there and looking very disturbed, as if he just had this flashback and is still suffering from the newly awoken memories of the Lash-trauma.
Those two scenes - how Jim remembers the incident and how Blair remembers the incident shows how different they perceived it, back then.
"Touch me baby, tainted love..." - Jim and a woman kissing. Blair viewing them, then looking away. Yes, it's over, they're not a couple anymore but knowing that Jim gets what he needs from other women still hurts and will continue to do so because Blair still loves Jim.
"Touch me baby, tainted love..." - Jim and a woman kissing. Jim standing there and looking around, clearly an expression of being at a loss on his face. Blair isn't with him anymore and all those women aren't able to substitute him. They're just a means to an end for Jim while Blair was a big part of his life. The girls are just a blip on his radar, providing temporal relief for a need he can't suppress but Blair is the one he misses and will continue to do so.
Yes, I know, I'm hopelessly romantic, so what? *g*
"Tainted love, tainted love, tainted love..." - Blair talking, apparently to Jim. Jim listening with stony face but not answering. Blair looking at him equally silent. There's nothing left to say and in the end, Jim sits alone on a bench, dressed in black. The death of everything they had.
*sniff*
Okay, perhaps nothing of this crossed ever Jane's mind when she made this vid, but that was what popped up in mine when watching it several times.
Anyone up for creating a happy-end sequel to this vid? ;-) I *so* need one. ;-)
I was thrilled to see that
janedavitt had made a vid using that song and I watched it several times, matching the scenes to the lyrics and trying to interpret what I saw. It was a dark, dark story that came out. Apparently I have a thing for "dark" lately. *g*And here is what *I* saw in this vid
At first, we get a "flash summary" that leads to the main "story":
The beginning:
Jane created a great entrance - just Jim's eyes, narrowing briefly as if he had just seen something of interest that was worth a hunt, like focusing in on a prey. *g* It's crystal clear - he just "discovered" Blair. *G* Pan shot to Blair, who's apparently clueless and likely talking to Jim, then back to Jim who approaches Blair in a way that made me think of circling him, stalking him like a prey.
I know that's not how they met for the first time in canon, but the scene has a "seeing for the first time" feeling to it. Well, call it an vid-AU. ;-) Or imagine that was the first time Blair triggered Jim's sexual interest. In the light of what we learn about Jim's sexual preferences later, such a "predator"-look makes sense. *g*
The problem gets out in the open:
Back to Blair, sitting in a car (apparently with Jim) and looking sideways with a disturbed, painful expression on his face that turns into a disturbed expression as if he had just learned something awful. I guess that marks the point, later in their relationship, when Blair realizes for the first time that Jim is cheating on him with women.
Then the lyrics start and so does the "story".
"Sometimes I feel I've got to ..." - shows Blair talking to Jim, apparently about something difficult because he's clearly not happy but equally clearly trying to be collected. I assume they're having a "reasonable talk" about Jim cheating on him repeatedly with other women.
The scene turns into Blair hitting the Switchman in the bus and looking up. I interpret this as an underlining example that shows the other side of their relationship where they're connected beyond having "an affair", where they're partners and friends, having each other's back in the dangers of their everyday-life. Something you don't throw away easily, not even when there are problems on another front of your relationship. That's why Blair tries to talk it out instead of actually "running away".
"Run away I've got to..." - shows Blair leaving the loft with a glance back at Jim. So the "reasonable talk" apparently hadn't a lasting effect and Jim disappointed Blair by continuing his habit of having sex with women. And Blair does what he often does when a situation gets too much for him emotionally, he leaves the scene.
"Get away..." - Blair leaves the closet from "Attraction", having just busted Jim with Laura, "hands in the cookie-jar", so to speak.
"From the pain that you drive into the heart of me..." - Jim hastily putting the spaghetti-strap of Laura's dress back up over her shoulder. Apparently he wants to go after Blair, perhaps trying to put his "screw up" into perspective with him and doing some damage-control. Don't we all know the kind of talk that happens after such a situation? I suppose it happens here too - off screen. *g*
"The love we share seems to..." - Interesting choice of scene here. (It's from Switchman, when Blair orders Jim not to watch but to *listen*) Blair talking to Jim intensely, fiercely and Jim reacting tensely, alerted, instantly doing what Blair suggested. It's such a perfect scene to underline their smooth co-working in a dangerous situation which needs instant action urgently. It has a feel of complementing each other, of a "well-oiled machine", of being able to count on each other in such situations. It polarizes the problematic part very well and illustrates the part of their relationship where they *do* share a "kind of love". Jane created two so very opposite sides of their relationship illustrates it wonderfully.
"go nowhere, and I've..." - Jim and Blair, apparently standing face to face, communication is down to talking - or rather "not talking" - with looks and they obviously don't now know what to say anymore. The perfect way to illustrate, that *it* seems to "go nowhere". They've reached a death end at this point - Blair isn't yet willing to either accept Jim's behavior or to end the commitment, Jim isn't able to explain anything beyond this "I can't help myself"-look on his face. As much "connected" the scene before felt as big feels the rift between them in this scene.
"lost my light, for I..." - Blair sitting on the loft-couch, regarding Jim with a look that speaks of disappointed and slightly angry resignation.
"toss and turn I can't sleep at night..." - Blair doing literally that. Tossing and turning on his bed, clearly unhappy in capital letters, not to say desperate. It's obvious that he won't be able to endure the current situation much longer.
"Once I ran to you (I ran)..." - Scene from the end of Switchman, when Blair eagerly runs after Jim. I think in the context of this "vid-story" it's meant to be from a time before they started a relationship that's apparently love on Blair's side, with the need to be exclusive, and on Jim's side perhaps also love but with the problem of apparently not being able to *be* exclusive.
"Now I'll run from you..." - Ah, instead of looking for another "running" scene, Jane cleverly selected the scene from Switchman where Blair approaches the door of the bus behind the switchman's back. The way he looks back it looks like he's looking at a Jim who's standing outside of the camera-angle, as if Blair tries to make sure Jim isn't noticing how he tries to vanish.
"This tainted love you've given..." - Blair, lying on the couch in the living room and getting up quickly, talking to someone, gesturing determinedly . It gives the impression as if Blair had waited for Jim to come home and now, when Jim enters the loft, Blair gets up, asking where he had been or if he had been with another woman again and stating that he won't take this anymore, with an angry ring to his voice and apparent in his gesturing.
"I give you all a boy could give you, take my..." - Surprisingly, to this we don't see Blair but Jim in the gym, working out as if he wanted himself to distract from any string of thoughts about their argument and their trouble. But Blair's accusations are still ringing in his ear and Jim tries hard to avoid any thoughts about his own behavior and feelings, avoid any acknowledgment about what he really does to their relationship or what he wants from Blair. I assume he went out on Blair, when Blair confronted him in the scene before. They got into an argument, Jim didn't want to talk about it and left for the gym to avoid having to deal with it and to avoid having to *think*.
"tears and that's not nearly all..." - Blair sitting topless in their bathroom with Jim taping up his ribs. I see this as a scene that illustrates that Blair pours not only his feelings into this relationship ("tears") but puts everything in it, including risking his health and life ("not nearly all") for their partnership and therefore, by extension, for Jim. Here is illustrated again that this is not only about a "romantic" relationship and its problems but also about a partnership that goes beyond that and includes large parts of both of their lifes congruently - Blair is hurt but he's not alone, Jim tends to him here, they're *both* in it, so far. But while Blair has already gone a step farther, having himself committed to an exclusive relationship, Jim doesn't seem to be able (or want) to do the same, for an unknown reason.
"Oh...tainted love, tainted love..." - Blair looking up to Jim, clearly emotionally struggling and trying to get a grip. Then sitting down on his bed and not *quite* succeeding in holding it together. It's obvious that he tries to endure the whole situation and the emotional rollercoaster of having the best of partnership with Jim but not the emotionally committed romance he wants from Jim. He won't be able to do this eternally and in the next scene, the breaking point is reached, something is about to change.
"Now I know I've got to..." - The scene opens with Jim looking stunned. I think Blair just broke the news to him that he can't continue this way and will leave him. And Jim looks as if he can't believe what Blair just said, as if he can't grasp the concept of Blair actually leaving, as if the world as he knows it is about to end and he can't wrap his mind around it.
"Run away..." - shows Blair standing, looking down and trying to hold his stand, listening to Jim who's circling him and talking agitatedly.
"I've ..." - Jim talking with an intense expression on his face, obviously trying to convince Blair of something, perhaps trying to talk him into staying.
"got to..." - Blair shaking his head and making a remark, much calmer now.
"get away..." - Jim facing away from Blair and also making a remark, perhaps answering.
"You don't really want IT any more from me, to make..." - Blair outside with his backpack, talking to Jim in a manner as if he is explaining something to him.
"things right, you need..." - again Blair talking to Jim in the same manner, but this time they're in the loft.
The scenes are clearly not consistent because of the different clothing, hairstyles and environments. Although this might be a necessity, lying in the nature of vid-making, I rather see it as an implication that this is not one big dig-it-up-all conversation but an ongoing process of talking it over on different occasions. Bringing up the topic several times, discussing it. In the light of how the vid proceeds I guess that this ongoing talking-process also includes the topic of Jim's sexual preferences, speak "kinks". *g* As I see it, Jim "confesses" to Blair that he needs a certain kind of kinky sex and that's why he tends to run back to women who are able to give him just that. Blair apparently doesn't immediately jump up and volunteer for it. He has to process the fact that the sex between them apparently isn't completely satisfying for Jim ("to make things right") because he needs a kinky component. A *heavy* component of kink. As in "much of it". Blair has to come to terms with this fact first ("You don't really want IT any more from me") before he can decide about how to go on from there.
"someone to hold you tight..." - Jim and Carolyn kissing wildly. Well, I think this "tight" can safely be interpreted literally here. I guess Blair would easily be able to "hold Jim tight" in the emotional sense of the word but I guess this hints more into the kinky direction. *G*
The following part is is a little bit difficult. Fact is, the original lyrics of the song included the wording "love is to play" etc., not "pray". I think it was Soft Cell who changed the lyrics at this point. Well, since Jane used the Soft Cell version, I'm going with it. But I think even "play" would fit the bill, although "play" could be interpreted in a broader range as "pray", as in "playing with sex" and "playing with one's feelings". "Pray" gives the lyrics a way grittier and darker meaning.
"And you'LL think love is to pray, but I'm..." - We see a close-up of Jim's hands closing the handcuffs around Laura's wrists, then kissing her. So, this kink of Jim is about dominating his sex-partners, about making them "pray" in the sense of pleading and begging.
"sorry I don't pray that way.." - Blair, gagged, and a pair of hands that caresses his face with a pair of drumsticks. Blair clearly hates it, he writhes in a way that suggests he wants to escape. I see this as Blair trying to give Jim what he needs for the sake of their relationship, trying to get into it, to see if they can make this work, but it doesn't work. Blair just doesn't "pray that way", he really hates being dominated in bed by Jim.
Okay, okay, the scenes are from "Cypher", I *know*, but I think in this scene, Blair's partner isn't *meant* to be Lash here.
But what I *do* think, concluding from how the "story" proceeds is, that Blair's encounter mit Lash traumatized him in a way that he simply isn't able to get into such a bondage-scene. This goes beyond simply not enjoying it and straight into fear.
"Once I ran to you (I ran), now I'll run from..." - Again, this is kind of a "flashback"-scene to "better times". Blair running up the stairs to a Jim who's shirtless and just fastening his trousers.
"you, this tainted..." - Blair sitting on his bed, desperate.
"love you've given..." - Jim lying in his bed, sleeping.
I interpret this as the aftermath of their "try gone wrong". Not sure how much time has passed, but surely not too much. While Blair has retreated to his room, Jim fell asleep in his bed. We don't know what happened immediately after the disaster, perhaps they tried to talk about it and it didn't work, perhaps Blair wanted to be alone, leaving Jim upstairs, perhaps Jim fell to sleep immediately and then Blair went downstairs, perhaps Blair didn't say anything, waiting for Jim to fall asleep before he got up and went downstairs. I don't know but I would guess it was the latter.
It's clear that Blair is devastated because it didn't work and because he know it will *never* work. He realizes that neither of them can fulfill the other's emotional/sexual needs. Blair is frightened by being dominated in bed by Jim, thanks to his encounter with Lash, and in the long run Jim can't do without dominating and therefore will end up going back to women who are able to satisfy his need, something Blair won't be able to accept and endure. Which basically means, they don't have a future as a couple. I sincerely doubt that Blair told Jim the whole truth, but basically, it doesn't even matter. He can't do it and, thanks to his trauma with Lash, now Jim's way of (physical) love(making) even feels "tainted" to him - no matter how he would have felt about it *before* Lash. Simply because he associates "being dominated" mentally and emotionally to what Lash had done to him. Hence "tainted love". *G* It's not so much Jim who "tainted" their love - I don't think Blair would have this kind of "moral judgment" - but Lash, who made it impossible for Blair to even "endure" it occasionally, let alone enjoy it.
"I give you all..." - Blair tried to give Jim what he needed, even going so far to risk waking up his trauma again, hence "I give you all". Now Blair is hiding behind something. Actually, it's the scene from Siege where he's hiding behind the vending machine but I think this is supposed to be something else. I think this is Blair, hiding downstairs because the sexual encounter with Jim scared him shitless (because of the reasons above) and brought back the memories.
"a boy could give you..." - Upstairs, Jim is waking up and from the look of it something woke him up. Perhaps he heard Blair downstairs. He doesn't go downstairs and, aside from Janet having to care for matching scenes to rhythm and text *g*, the reason for that might be that Blair made it clear *he* doesn't want to talk about it.
"Take my tears and that's not nearly all..." - I consider this the next morning. Jim and Blair are talking in the truck. As I interpret it, Blair tells Jim he will quit because he can neither live with kinky sex nor with Jim cheating on him in the future. From Jim's reaction I assume he tries to talk him out of it.
"Oh...tainted love, tainted love..." - The argument continues in front of the the entrance to "Personnel" at the PD. That gave me the impression that Blair wants to quit entirely, even resign as an "observer". Jim wants to stop him by talking. From the look I would say he tries to convince him of something. He may promise him that they'll never have a similar encounter or so. Everything is possible and if I take into account that Jim might not know what's *really* going on with Blair, it's even possible that he might try to convince Blair of trying it again in a slightly different manner and perhaps it will work *then*. Given this construction, from Blair's POV this was a major disaster ("tainted love"), from Jim's POV it was simply a sexual encounter that didn't went all too well and he might not even quite understand why Blair reacts so strongly to it. All the more stronger his own reaction turns out because apparently nothing he says changes Blair's mind, as we see in the next scene.
"Don't touch me please, I cannot stand..." - Jim is gripping Blair's upper arms, apparently trying to get through to him physically because words don't work. He sees that Blair will leave him and there's nothing he can say that will prevent it. Blair fights Jim, insisting on "no" and Jim lets go, gives up.
"the way you tease..." - We see Jim flirting with Laura. I take that as Blair being convinced that Jim will continue to cheat on him because he, Blair, can't "perform" in the desired way, which is something ("the way you tease") Blair won't be able to bear. I don't see this as Blair reproaching Jim for his wish for kinky sex/sexual dominance because as I said before, I don't think Blair would have this kind of moral judgment. And since he just knows that Jim won't be able to give that up, he knows what's coming if he stays.
"I love you though you hurt me so..." - We see Blair fighting wildly and Jim trying to calm him, partially trying to grab him physically in a way that suggests he tries to keep Blair from hitting something or someone, to hold him back from something. It looks like Blair has a fit of rage, caused by the hopeless situation and feeling helpless to change this, and Jim seems to try to bring him out of it. Blair feels hurt by Jim in two ways: I consider it a mix of the more or less deliberate emotional hurt he suffered from Jim cheating on him and the unintentional "mental" hurt he got from Jim during their disastrous bondage-play. What I don't see is Jim delivering physical hurt to him at any point and I'm convinced of that because of the upcoming scenes.
"Now I'm going to pack my things and go..." Blair packs and leaves, and Jim helps him carrying his baggage to the car. Which means, Jim is *not* angry with him. I guess he has accepted that he can't change Blair's mind and can hardly keep him against his will. They don't argue anymore, it's sad, they have both resigned, knowing there's nothing they can do anymore, it's over.
This is basically the end of the story but, like an "aftermath", we see how they both feel, partly in flashbacks of earlier events.
"tainted love..." - Jim waking Blair up, (the scene from True Crime) I see this as a flashback in Jim's mind, and then Jim standing there, turning his head, probably just having had this flashback.
"tainted love..." - Blair blindfolding Jim for a test, again, a flashback in Jim's mind, accompanied by the picture of Jim sitting there, thinking of this situation and looking haunted by the memories.
"tainted love..." - Jim putting on his shirt, in the light of the following scene it's likely the moment shortly after Blair had put a "stop" to their bondage-scene - either intentionally or unintentionally because Jim realized that Blair wasn't into it from his physical reactions or lack of. Jim has a tolerant "okay, okay, don't get your knickers in a twist"-expression on his face and makes placating gestures with his hands. This was, what made me think that Jim didn't view the encounter as such a mess and didn't realize then how seriously Blair was frightened. He might have thought that it was simply not to Blair's liking, but I doubt he realized the whole importance at this point. And it was also the scene that made me believe that he didn't really hurt Blair physically or took something physical from him against his will, that he didn't go too far in a physical sense.
"tainted love..." - Blair gagged and looking dazed, exhausted. I think that's a flashback from the moment immediately after Jim stopped their bondage-scene. But I guess this time it's in Blair's mind because immediately after this picture we see Blair standing there and looking very disturbed, as if he just had this flashback and is still suffering from the newly awoken memories of the Lash-trauma.
Those two scenes - how Jim remembers the incident and how Blair remembers the incident shows how different they perceived it, back then.
"Touch me baby, tainted love..." - Jim and a woman kissing. Blair viewing them, then looking away. Yes, it's over, they're not a couple anymore but knowing that Jim gets what he needs from other women still hurts and will continue to do so because Blair still loves Jim.
"Touch me baby, tainted love..." - Jim and a woman kissing. Jim standing there and looking around, clearly an expression of being at a loss on his face. Blair isn't with him anymore and all those women aren't able to substitute him. They're just a means to an end for Jim while Blair was a big part of his life. The girls are just a blip on his radar, providing temporal relief for a need he can't suppress but Blair is the one he misses and will continue to do so.
Yes, I know, I'm hopelessly romantic, so what? *g*
"Tainted love, tainted love, tainted love..." - Blair talking, apparently to Jim. Jim listening with stony face but not answering. Blair looking at him equally silent. There's nothing left to say and in the end, Jim sits alone on a bench, dressed in black. The death of everything they had.
*sniff*
Okay, perhaps nothing of this crossed ever Jane's mind when she made this vid, but that was what popped up in mine when watching it several times.
Anyone up for creating a happy-end sequel to this vid? ;-) I *so* need one. ;-)
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-21 06:47 pm (UTC)Wow.
To a certain extent, some of the choices weren't perhaps as deliberate as you might think; I wanted to work mostly with S1 as those were the best quality clips I had, clean, without logos, so that limited me. I'm also not as familiar with the episodes as I'd like to be; only seen them once or twice.
The basic theme was, as you say, Jim being into kinks Blair's not comfortable with and Jim, maybe not totally at ease with them himself, or his attraction to Blair, going out with women to put up a show of being straight and because in some ways he finds them more malleable.
It's not at all a canon-based interpretation of their relationship; it's just a possibility that occurred to me as I was deciding how to go about vidding the song.
It's definitely Jim, not Lash; you have to sort of pretend you've never seen the show for a lot of it as it doesn't work otherwise ::g::
Some points I went for a rather tongue in cheek suggestiveness (Marc Almond's face was very clear in my head as I vidded!). So you have 'gave you all a boy could give you' as Jim's getting pumped up and sweaty, and that line again with a cut from Jim in bed, to Blair kneeling, to Jim jerking in surprise, sheets moving as if someone's just touched him...
But overall, yes, it's sad. It's love that's tainted by betrayal and doomed expectations; on both sides. Jim (sorry, Jim!) comes off as the villain of the piece, although I tried to work in Jim's own underlying distress at the way things were going and his total shock, hidden behind a stony face, when Blair leaves.
No winners, here. Because they still both love each other; they're just not capable of giving the other what they need.
I need a happy sequel now myself!
Thanks again for this analysis; really thought-provoking!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-21 08:24 pm (UTC)I watched the vid and just couldn't help it, these were the thoughts that practically ambushed me. *ggg*
>To a certain extent, some of the choices weren't perhaps as deliberate as you might think;
*LOL* That's one of my problems, I'm always reading more into vids and stories than the creator ever intented to be there. *g* I don't see a problem with that because it's good for both: the author/vidder enjoys (hopefully) the fact that someone spends time with her work and I have a heck of a good time doing it. *G*
In this case I think it worked well that you only used S1 scenes. That added to my impression because the Lash case was still not very far in the past, so the idea of Blair still having to struggle with the aftereffects was born quickly. *g*
>It's not at all a canon-based interpretation of their relationship;
It worked wonderfully for me, albeit in an entirely other way than you might have expected. *g*
>It's definitely Jim, not Lash; you have to sort of pretend you've never seen the show for a lot of it as it doesn't work otherwise
*g* Well, yes, I can see how this was what you had in mind. :-) But my imagination hijacked my mind and run away with it. Much to my delight, I have to add. And so it worked perfectly well for me depite "mis"-interpreting it away heavily from what you originally intented it to be. *g*
>Some points I went for a rather tongue in cheek suggestiveness
*g* See, I took it waaaay too serious. *g* And somehow I was stuck with just one "voice", Blair's, and the lyrics as *his* viewpoint only. This also influenced my interpretation of it very much. :-)
But hey, I'm sure as much people as watch the vid, as much opinions and interpretations you get. :-) In a way it's similar to some stories, each reader sees things different, sometimes very different, sometimes only slightly different. :-)
>>It's love that's tainted by betrayal and doomed expectations
No doubt about that. :-)
>although I tried to work in Jim's own underlying distress at the way things were going and his total shock, hidden behind a stony face, when Blair leaves<<
Well, this worked for me too. I found it completely clear that Jim *did* love Blair and really didn't doubt this. Therefore I considered it a problem for both, that he had to look for satisfaction, regarding his particular sexual needs, outside of their relationship but in my head I only heard Blair's "voice" by reading the lyrics. :-) Which means for me, Jim's side of the story wasn't really told although I did think about him and what he might feel too. :-) I think Jim's stony face in the end wasn't something I could misinterpret mentally. *g*
>No winners, here. Because they still both love each other; they're just not capable of giving the other what they need.<<
*sigh* Sadly, yes, that's the bottom of it, no matter on which way you come to this conclusion.
>Thanks again for this analysis; really thought-provoking!
Thank you for creating the vid. I had a lot of joy watching and writing about it. :-)
PatK
:-)
no subject
Date: 2006-11-21 10:00 pm (UTC)It's Blair's POV throughout, yes. Simpler that way. Just sometimes when he's 'talking' he's thinking of Jim, so you get to see Jim, not Blair ::g::
no subject
Date: 2006-11-22 11:49 am (UTC)I think every creator of a story, video, picture, drawing, movie etc. etc, and I don't mean only fannish work here, is sometimes surprised or even downright baffled about what the audience makes of it, what a reader or viewer might see in his or her work. *g*
>>My take on it isn't any more valid than anyone else's
But hey, I'm so interested in what you as the creator had in mind when you did it. So I'm really grateful for your comments. :-)
>>Just sometimes when he's 'talking' he's thinking of Jim, so you get to see Jim, not Blair
Ah, now I didn't think of it that way. Thanks for showing me this angle. :-) Have to watch it again with this in mind. *g*
PatK
:-)
no subject
Date: 2006-11-21 11:15 pm (UTC)The following part is is a little bit difficult. Fact is, the original lyrics of the song included the wording "love is to play" etc., not "pray". I think it was Soft Cell who changed the lyrics at this point. Well, since Jane used the Soft Cell version, I'm going with it. But I think even "play" would fit the bill, although "play" could be interpreted in a broader range as "pray", as in "playing with sex" and "playing with one's feelings". "Pray" gives the lyrics a way grittier and darker meaning.
As an 18 year old when this came out, with no access to the actual lyrics, I heard this as 'You think love is depraved, but I'm sorry, I don't pray that way.'
I loved what I saw as a neat play on words and that misreading (which I knew was wrong even before I started vidding and printed off the lyrics, forget how I found out) influenced the vid a lot.
Didn't know they'd changed the words; interesting! In fact, until I did this vid, I didn't know it was a cover for Soft Cell and that it'd been covered subsequently, too. Got to love the net for finding out trivia!
no subject
Date: 2006-11-22 11:59 am (UTC)*LOL* Oh yes, I can see how this misreading influenced the vid. *g* But even without this "background info" it works wonderfully. :-) As soon as you have a permanent place/link for it I'm going to suggest it for the next LMFA. :-)
>>Didn't know they'd changed the words; interesting!
Rumours are, there are a few other changes as well but I wasn't able to find the real original version of the lyrics. I found different versions but wasn't able to find out which one was the real original. The fact about "play/pray" was the only one I could verify. :-)
PatK
:-)