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But rather John/Rodney/Keller. *puts tinhat on, steps up on soapbox, grabs pointer and flip chart*
Rodney:
We know that Rodney was thinking about "reproducing" since as early as season 2. The only remark I can think of immediately is from "Runner", when he talks to Lorne: "As it is, I may have to forego reproducing." But I think we heard something similar from him (passing on his genes or something like that) at least once more and I *think* it was even earlier (though not sure, if someone can remember this, please, let me know). It seems the nebulous, vague idea of "reproducing" was there before he even had an "appropriate" candidate who could participate as well in said "reproduction".
The next ep is "Duet" which has Rodney having a (first?) date with Katie Brown and Carson being very surprised about Rodney having a date "with a woman". Which I don't count so much as a pointer towards him being gay but rather towards him having dated not noticeably before, hence Carson's surprise.
Notice the order: first the idea of "reproduction", *then* the sudden dating of a woman of appropriateness, so to speak.
Disaster strikes in the form of Cadman possessing his body and the next time we hear from Katie it's almost two years later in "Sunday", when we learn that
a)Rodney avoided her for a few month after "Duet" and
b)quote Rodney: "I mean, she and I see so little of each other, I’m not sure we even count as a couple. "
Yeah, seems like a true, hot love affair.
Interesting that this is the same episode in which we see John addressing the possibility of Ronon being interested in "a man" which makes it pretty clear that Sheppard apparently doesn't have any big problems with this particular concept.
Anyway.
Rodney has a pretty awkward talk with Katie in "Sunday" in which he admits:
"It’s funny, you know? I mean, much as I hate to admit it, seeing my little sister so happy with her family, I just ... Well, it kind of made me realise that, uh ... well, I’d like to get married."
Which gives me the impression that he hasn't fallen so much for a certain woman - like Katie - but has fallen for the *idea* of having a family, meaning a wife and kids, triggered by - I guess - the events in "McKay and Mrs. Miller".
And their smoldering hot relationship smolders on and on and on - over "Tabula Rasa" where he almost loses her (but even this doesn't trigger an immediate response in form of a proposal) and it takes *Jeannie's* prodding, to spur him into action.
JEANIE: So, are you gonna marry her?
McKAY: I don't know.
JEANIE: You've been dating for over a year now.
McKAY: I'm aware of that, thank you!
JEANIE: You think you're gonna find someone better?
McKAY: No, it's not that.
JEANIE (laughing): ‘Cause you're not!
And finally, a few eps later, in "Quarantine" we see the train-wreck of proposal happening with the foreseeable result.
And the *next* thing we see on this front is Rodney considering Keller.
What can I say, to me, this looks suspiciously as if Rodney still hasn't given up on the "I want a family"-concept but has just wandered on to the next "appropriate" and "available" woman who might be a good candidate to bring that concept to life. Don't get me wrong, I actually believe that he *thinks* he loves her - after all, she *is* not bad in handling him - and doesn't actually acts consciously in the way I spin the tale here.
If he would, he wouldn't chose Keller since a woman like her most likely won't share his (assumed) idea of a Miller-like model-family because, who do you think would be supposed to take back a step or two from the job in order to take care of Rodney's kids? Rodney? Between Jumper-maintenance, looking for a way to build ZPMs and saving the Pegasus-galaxy on a weekly basis? Yeah, thought so.
Plus, as it was with Katie, he has already started to put on an "act" around her. He's trying to impress her, "change" himself in order to appeal to her and since he doesn't do this because he himself wants it but only for her sake, this is bound to fail sooner or later. He may even marry her but I bet a year's salary this marriage won't (or wouldn't, depending on what happens during the rest of the season) survive either the first year or the birth of their first child, whatever comes first.
Now, since we know the *real* reason why Rodney McKay chases after women but somehow seems to lack a certain passion while doing so, let's take a look at the question who he might actually *want* to chase after, but hasn't *realized* it up to now because he got on the wrong track with that family-idea and hasn't left it yet.
This question is answered with two words: "The Shrine".
And what is John's position on all that?
John is seriously and silently pining after Rodney, of course, but won't *ever* act on it 'cause Rodney is chasing persistently (though so far *literally* fruitlessly) his dream of kids and family and therefore marriageable women.
Seriously.
From John's "like a friend" (Tao), over Rodney's dead being his biggest fear (Doppelgänger), his anxious question for McKay at the end of "Tabula Rasa", his "I can't" from "Miller's Crossing" (the moment that turned "John loves Rodney" into my personal canon) and the whole Wallace-thing, his face in "Quarantine" when he learned about Rodney's plan to marry Katie right up to his "McKay's alive?" in "Search and Rescue" and the way he looks up and down Keller's back in "The Seed" - the moments where you can see how much Rodney means to John get more frequent and stronger, compared to the earlier seasons.
And then came "The Shrine" and I don't think I have to comment on that.
Now "Tracker" opened with a scene that's very hard to interpret in any other way than John feeling hurt an jealous. Yes, granted, he could feel hurt and jealous because suddenly he plays the second fiddle to Keller when it comes to Rodney's priorities on with whom he wants to spend his day off, but I have my tinhat firmly in place right now. *G*
The way John presses his lips together and turns around to leave without another word or so much as a "later" ... well, what can I say...
I can't help it, it makes so much sense to see it like that. Rodney chasing after his idea of having an ideal "Miller-family" and therefore approaching women like Katie and Jennifer despite John (unperceived) being the most important (and as we saw in The Shrine most unforgettable) person in his life, the one he gravitates towards when everything else is leaving him, and John watching him year after year after year, falling in love with him and never saying a word 'cause, yeah, Rodney's going for a *family*, with kids, something John can't provide anyway and seeing him "falling" for Keller hurts a little more than everything else before 'cause he knows from "The Last Man" that Keller actually *is* a possible match for Rodney.
*takes tinhat off, polishes it happily with a sleeve*
Yeah, they *do* have their love-triangle on SGA but it's not quite the one they were aiming for.
And I love it. *G*.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 09:40 am (UTC)My view of Rodney is as someone who compartmentalises things and then, once certain 'items' are coded, both believes and tries to behave in such a way that is consistent with his coding. He has John coded as 'best friend', he had Katie, and now has Keller, coded as 'attractive females, of breeding age, who appear to be interested in me' and he has himself coded as 'straight, middle-aged genius'. So, when he starts thinking about wanting a family, the obvious way of fulfilling this wish is for him to believe himself to be in love with Katie/Keller. It is only when he tries to act on these beliefs that he starts getting odd data -- like John's response to him proposing to Katie or volunteering to go with Keller and like Rodney's ultimate inability to go through with proposing to Katie or his unconscious actions in The Shrine when it is to John he runs when he needs reassurance. He's still relying on his 'coding' - and hence the scene with Ronon at the end of Tracker - but we've already seen first-hand evidence that it is John with whom he can relax and be himself and it is John on whom he relies when things get tough.
Yeah, it certainly isn't Keller! *g*
cep xxx
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 12:47 pm (UTC)>>So, when he starts thinking about wanting a family, the obvious way of fulfilling this wish is for him to believe himself to be in love with Katie/Keller. <<
Yes, this whole concept makes a lot of sense. And it fits to the kind of analytical mind a scientist like Rodney has. And you're right, everything seems to be okay and allright and it fits - "in theory", so to speak, but as soon as he starts to act and puts the theory in practice, so to speak, he gets odd results which do not quite match the expected ones. *G*
Sooner or later he'll possibly start to question *why* things don't add up as expected and then he'll perhaps start to question his coding, the labels he has put on things, but he's not quite there yet. Not enough things have gone wrong yet to spur him into doing that. I could imagine that it'll actually need a year or two of marriage and/or the pressure of having to look after a child to make any questioning even possible.
I could also imagine that, at some point in the future, the first "code" he's going to question might be John's because John lets slip more and more of his feelings through and at some time Rodney is bound to notice that and putting it in context to his own feelings regarding John.
I can't help but suspect a little that - at the moment - Rodney wouldn't even be really *willing* to question his way of coding John, to acknowledge that John could mean more than a "best friend", not even if someone else brought up the idea, for two reasons:
a) if he did so, it would get in the way of his dreamed-of family-concept (and he's apparently not done with this yet), it would put him into a place where he would have to decide between things he wants without being ready to give up one of them
and
b) loving John is risky.
And I don't mean in the "what will others think, what will happen to John's career"-way of risky but emotionally risky. Losing John because he dies is a distinct possibility, given his profession, the situation they live in and John's character.
Losing John *now* - with John being his best friend - would be hard and hurt enough. But losing John after acknowledging to himself that he loves John in the romantic meaning, perhaps even after they actually *do* start a lover's relationship, *this* could be devastating and the sheer "not-quite-acknowledged-but-there-in-a-gut-feeling-kind-of-way"-fear of it could prevent Rodney from even *thinking* in this direction. Dangerous territory, keep out and watch your thoughts.
So, at the moment he seems to be better off with his coding firmly in place and not even going near the idea of possibly questioning any of it. (Yeah, probably an unconscious illusion *g*)
The question is, how long is this going to work? *G*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 01:33 pm (UTC)Yes - and therein lies the problem. Given John's unwillingness to break his silence and actually express himself openly to Rodney and also given Rodney's cluelessness as a result of he pre-determined 'coding', there isn't an easy solution. We've already seen that John wasn't going to interfere in Rodney's plans to propose to Katie, so I can quite easily imagine him never 'coming out' to Rodney about his feelings. We've also watched Rodney's response to almost losing John - and so also know that he's unlikely to approach John himself with anything other than friendly relief. Hell, Rodney was all but dying and neither of them did anything!
I think this is why fanfic often relies on the tried and tested trope of having someone else, usually Teyla, point out the obvious to one of the boys. Anything else (brush with death, ending DADT, amnesia, losing Atlantis) has pretty much already been shown not to work in canon. But still, canon has indicated pretty solidly that, despite all this, the feelings are truly there!
Given we're well into the last season, and given that TPTB are never in a million years gonna go for the ending we slashers would like, I can't really see any of the personal relationships on the show ever being completely resolved. I take comfort in the fact that this means we can't get Rodney/Keller and also that I can fix things the way they are supposed to be in fanfic!
cep xxx
no subject
Date: 2008-09-29 07:38 pm (UTC)Not as long as he has to think that Rodney has other preferences and dreams.
>>Hell, Rodney was all but dying and neither of them did anything!
That's not really a surprise, isn't it? With Rodney's "codes" firmly in place, chasing his family-dream and John knowing that and determined to not get into the way. But I think sometimes John can't help but slip up a little, as he did in "Miller's Crossing" or now in "Tracker" - after all, it can't be easy to watch the situation day in day out and keeping everything locked in.
But it's not enough (yet) to make Rodney question his coding or what he believes about John and himself. So, for the time being, they're pretty much stuck as long as none of them "moves".
>>(brush with death, ending DADT, amnesia, losing Atlantis) has pretty much already been shown not to work in canon.<<
Ha! We had "ending DADT" in canon? That would be the day. ;-) But seriously, no, I don't think this would actually change the situation because DADT - while surely a big obstacle - isn't what I see as *the* obstacle here. As for amnesia... I think the only "amnesia"-ep we had was actually "The Shrine". And look what happened - at least *while* the slowly progressing amnesia happened. *G* But as soon as Rodney's amnesia was cured ... we got Keller-chasing!Rodney and jealous!John. *G* The problem is, canon won't go *there*, ever, which means, whatever happens in canon, it will *never* be enough to produce a slashy happy end for the boys. Which means, in fanfic we have to work around that, creating situations at least slightly different from canon-happenings that they *can* work.
SGA is a family show, there *are* situations and happenings that will never appear on screen but make for perfect possibilities in fanfic. That's our way out, so to speak. *G*
>>I take comfort in the fact that this means we can't get Rodney/Keller and also that I can fix things the way they are supposed to be in fanfic!<<
Pretty much what I'm hoping for. If we do *not* get Rodney/Keller confirmed as an established couple, we have every possibility open for us. And even *if* we get Rodney/Keller - hey, let's break them up! *G* Maybe Rodney will be more susceptible to the idea of John being more than a best friend if Rodney has had a little taste of a Keller as his girlfriend/wife. *G*
When did a canonically established couple ever stop fandom from bringing their preferred pairing together? ;-)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-29 07:54 pm (UTC)Hee! Obviously my wishful thinking slipping in there! But you know what I mean.
The problem is, canon won't go *there*
Yes, unfortunately. *sighs* Still, more fun for us writers, eh?!
When did a canonically established couple ever stop fandom from bringing their preferred pairing together?
Yes - one of the benefits of a closed canon. *makes grabby hands for the characters* They're OURS!!!
cep xxx
PS Madison and I have *totally* fixed Tracker! Now to get the boys together and finish things off the way they should... *glee* You know, it might actually be a lot more fun this way.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-30 03:05 pm (UTC)Hee, I'm *so* looking forward to read that. :-)